Dylan Kerr

06 Mar 2016

So I wake up one day and think “I’m going to wear a wedding dress”. 

''I used to go to my granny’s house every day after school because my parents worked and I used to take the bedsheets and make these dresses. And I remember coming downstairs and saying “oh look at this one I made” and then she’d say it was lovely or whatever, but her face would be squirming because they were her best bedsheets''.

Growing up on a dairy farm I spent loads of time with my Granny. My Dad’s gas. He’s a normal countryman so he doesn’t really say anything. I can walk in wearing anything and he won’t bat an eyelid. I used to have really long curly hair and when i shaved it all off he said “That’s great now. Value for money.”

"I used to have really long curly hair and when i shaved it all off he said “That’s great now. Value for money.”​

I go back every week. I do music lessons at home. 

Oh what do you play?

Eh flute, piano and I sing as well. 

Do you know what you are? Your one of those salon women from the 1800s, like a Bennet sister. Oh I draw, I speak french, I play the flute and the pianoforte. Get fucked. So not that much debauchery then? I’m shocked. The only times I’ve ever seen you in the flesh before today was that friday and at that Baby Cheeses party. First time I ever went to one of those was my first year. 

The apartment is amazing. 

Yeah, my pal who used to see one of the guys who lived there. We called it Dumbledore’s Office. You know, you go up and there’s this spiral staircase and amazing widespread room. I remember so clearly going there, it was the first big, interesting party I ever went to. Me, my best pal, these little bright-eyed ingenués. Fucking brilliant. And now every time I go I feel like a washed up hag. So Describe for me what your wearing, obviously we’re on mic here. 

Oh well, I’m in some 90s correctional shoes. They’re a size and a half too big and I fell down some stairs in the library last week because of them. 

So the correction is just ironic. 

Yeah! Some ridiculous flares and then this is my baby, this is my Craig Green shirt.


Jack Gibson